


How He Reacts to Having a Crush On You

by warmommy



Category: Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 06:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13584231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmommy/pseuds/warmommy
Summary: Each chapter is a different Basterd. List format.





	1. Hugo Stiglitz

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find this and a lot more at my tumblr, warmommy.tumblr.com!

  * He has no idea how to comport himself with this. 
  * He tries to push it out of his mind, but the damn thing just keeps circling back around to you.
  * Then he’s nervous. Really nervous. He hates being nervous.
  * He also hates that he feels like a dumb teenager again every time he sees you or someone mentions you. 
  * That goddamn Wicki is too observant for his own good, figures it out, and teases Hugo about it in German so no one else can hear
  * He’s gonna get a knife to the face if he’s not careful
  * Some time later, he still doesn’t know what to do about it, but he finds being around you comforting, so he starts situating himself in your vicinity more and more frequently, and slowly gets closer.
  * He trusts your word, believes you. That’s very rare.
  * Hugo takes it on himself to learn about you as much as he possibly can, but also does not want you to notice that he’s doing this.
  * He knows about the bit of red ribbon tied to your dog tags
  * He knows your middle name, what you like to eat, he sticks extra bars of chocolate in your pack like the fucking chocolate bar fairy ‘jesus christ what am i doing’
  * On passes, it’s him that takes you to your room when you’ve had too much to drink and he leaves you a glass of water and aspirin and gets the hell out of there
  * Also on passes, at those same bars, he’s extremely effective at scaring away just anyone that seems like they want to talk to you
  * **_N o  O u t s i d e r s_**
  * _“MEIN GOTT, STIGLITZ, NOCH NICHTS??”_
  * Stupid goddamn Austrian–after that, he  _has_  to do  _something_.
  * You’re sitting by yourself all nestled in a bed of pine needles under a tree, reading one of your little books that he sometimes asks you about
  * And Hugo charges through everything in between you and sits down next to you, like,  _right_ next to you,  _you’re touching each other dear Christ he never touches people_
  * “I want to spend every day right  _here_. Yes?” Shit, he is not in control of his facial expression
  * You blink and look sort of bewildered, but his heart lightens a bit when you sort of smile. 
  * “Do you need a cigarette?”
  * He nods
  * “Are you going to be okay?”
  * He shrugs and accepts a light
  * You pick up your book again and curl up against him, your head resting on his shoulder, a happy sigh and a squeeze to his arm
  * Hugo nods and tilts his head over yours.
  * He is now your universe-appointed sentinel, protecting you as you read this book and every book that should come in the future
  * And also at all other times
  * He places his hand on one of your knees while you read and smokes and glares at everyone else,  _daring_  them to say a single word about it or to disturb you
  * Because this is obviously, at least to him, tacit approval and acceptance for him to become part of every aspect of your life forever.




	2. Donny Donowitz

  * This shit ain’t even fuckin fair
  * **W h o  h a s  l e g s  l i k e  t h a t**
  * Donny has a really hard time with this because it’s usually the other way around, but he doesn’t think you really notice him like that, and it drives him crazy
  * He gets louder when you’re around and more animated
  * Like, fuckin’ notice me goddamn it
  * Your favourite guy to hang around is Hirschberg – WHEN DID HE GET DROPPED DOWN THE FUCKING RABBIT HOLE
  * He involves you in everything he can so that he has good reason to talk to you and be around you
  * It just makes him feel good, you’re real nice
  * He thinks you’re  _really_ smart, too, and he’s never found that particularly attractive before you
  * He  _loves_  when you call him Donovan, even though no one else is ever allowed to do that ever 
  * It just feels more personal and he’s yearning to make that connection
  * He feels terrific whenever you ask for his help because it means he’s needed by you
  * Really he just adores every little thing about you, from the freckles on your nose to the pink nail polish on your toes
  * His heart just bounces when you start to sit beside him more, get a bit more casual, and he’s just done for whenever he makes you laugh
  * The best day he’s had since coming to France and maybe some time before that was standing right behind you, helping you to swing his bat, because man you did not know shit about baseball
  * After a while, he can’t help himself from trying, and he makes the first move
  * He  _has_ to kiss you, he just  _has_ to
  * You come away smiling and blushing 
  * He feels like he is the actual king of the whole goddamn world
  * “Aw, don’t be shy, doll.”




	3. Aldo Raine

  * Looking back  _after the fact_ , you realise that Aldo has  _always been in the backdrop_
  * He considers himself an expert at infiltration that way
  * It all started when he met you at some damn officer’s ball held in London
  * He didn’t want to go at all but he got his ear bent about it so he did
  * And damn if he did not see just the cutest vision in a dark blue dress
  * He knew everything there was to know about you by the end of that fancy little get-together by asking around
  * He introduced himself when he noticed somebody was bugging you and you were trying to be polite about it, but they weren’t
  * “Hello, my name is Lt. Aldo Raine, pleased to meet you. Hey, you,  _fuck off_.”
  * From then on, he was always just kind of around, non-invasively, just there
  * An incredibly friendly face in an extremely unfriendly place and time
  * Your appreciation for him grew exponentially, and his heart was just besotted with you. 
  * Something about you, hell, everything about you just relaxed him and made everything nice
  * He gave every last cigarette rationed to him over to you, and when you tried to protest, he just said he didn’t need none of ‘em and showed you his snuff box
  * He egged you on to give it a go and could not help laughing his ass off at all the spluttering and frantic cries for help
  * He knew you were gonna be okay, and he rubbed firm circles on your back until you stopped sneezing and hoped you wouldn’t hate the shit out of him now
  * But you didn’t, it was all fine, and he just admired you that much more
  * He struggled with it and struggled with it, but ultimately he  _couldn’t_  go to France without you. 
  * He didn’t even want to mention it to you, didn’t want you to worry, definitely didn’t want you to get hurt
  * But the closer he got to time to go, the more he was faced with this terrible  _empty_ feeling that he knew would be all the time if you weren’t there
  * All he needed was for you to just be there, he kept telling himself, he didn’t need anything else, you were all the woman he ever needed just in the secrets and shadows he kept in his heart
  * One night, he knocked on your door, leaned inside, and said “Hey, I just got me eight Jewish kids, we goin’ to kill Nazis. You want in?”
  * Thank God you said yes. 
  * Really, he actually thanked God, someone he hadn’t been much acquainted with, since the lynching
  * Then you made a move
  * Pulled him inside the room, hugged him close, said his name in a way that made him sigh and swear he was going to keep you safe no matter what it took




	4. Wilhelm Wicki

  * He is just constantly making an idiot out of himself in front of you
  * The worst is tripping over his own two feet and then knocking into you
  * You fell
  * So did he
  * He crushed you and on the ground he sort of laughed because he did not know what the fuck else to do
  * This is ridiculous because he feels way too old to act like this
  * He pesters you and he knows that he’s doing but he  _can’t stop_
  * He shut down the whole  _shiksa_  thing QUICK, he just would not stand for them to call you that, whether they meant it innocently or not
  * He is super protective of you, but not just physically, also emotionally, and he shields you from a lot of things
  * His worst nightmare is seeing you cry so he does what he can to keep that from happening
  * He tries to make you laugh when you’re sad 
  * Then one day you walk up on a dead little French girl whose parents claimed a German had murdered her
  * You hadn’t been standing anywhere close to one another, but Wicki quietly walked up and pulled you against his chest until it felt like the whole front of his shirt was soaked
  * He quit speaking English at some point and tried soothing you in German, and he was surprised when it seemed to do the trick
  * And then he felt stupid because he realised it must have been his voice
  * But he remembered that for every awful thing that happened and would talk to you really low and quiet until you stopped crying, at least
  * He really just wants to make you feel better
  * He’s completely oblivious to the fact that he’s inspired mutual feelings with all of his kindness
  * He just loves you so damn much
  * But he also thinks that you wouldn’t take him seriously, having such different backgrounds, him being older
  * BUT THEN
  * It’s his birthday, and even he’d forgotten about it, or lost track of the days, something
  * You hand him something before you’re set to go on patrol with Simon and kiss his cheek, then you’re gone
  * Actually he almost cried
  * In the most beautiful script he’d ever read you wrote this:
  * Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned.
  * He recognises it instantly from Song of Solomon 
  * Then he just takes off in a dead sprint until he catches up with you



**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find this and a lot more at my tumblr, warmommy.tumblr.com!


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